Out of Control
by Unreal Wanderers
Summary: "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes." No, no, that wasn't right. "Shut up!" The world was spinning, his mind was out of control, but the man in front of him was real and familiar. "I'm not gonna fight you. You're my friend." (OneShot - happens at the end of WS)


**Out of Control**

 **Summary:** "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes..." No, no, that wasn't right. "Shut up!" The world was spinning, his mind was out of control, but the man in front of him was real and familiar. "I'm not gonna fight you. You're my friend."

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 **Authoress note:** So, this has been on my mind for a while, after finally watching the Winter Soldier movie. Yes, I know, it took me ages to, but ever since I did I kept imagining what was going through Bucky's head on that last scene with Steve; hence this short one shot. I want to thank my good friend **Maresia Eterna** , who unknowingly inspired me to write this after I gave her a little push to write her own story hehe Go check it out if you feel like it; it's on its early stages, but I know it'll be good. Thank you and hope you enjoy what I wrote!

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The world was falling apart; metal was bearing down on him, trapping him, crushing him, stealing his breath. Soon the glass beaneath him would shatter, and all the debris along with his tired body, would collapse onto the water.

He snarled and grunted as he tried to push the metal away, but for once his strength wasn't enough. For once, he wouldn't be able to complete his mission. But did he really want to? The voices in his head were conflicted, they tore at each other savagely, creating a deafening melody.

Pieces of a life he could barely remember kept creeping in, battling their way against the Winter Soldier, struggling to erase him and bring back... Bucky... that was what Captain America had called him...

Bucky... Bucky... Bucky...

But he was no longer Bucky; he was the Winter Soldier and his mission was not complete. He looked up, searching for his target, but he didn't have to look far. Steve Rogers was making his way down to him.

Without saying a word, the man whom he was supposed to kill, whom he had just tried to kill moments before, lifted up the metal bar holding him down just enough to allow him to escape. The Soldier crawled away from it and Captain America dropped it, panting.

"You know me."

These words angered the Soldier and before he knew it, his fist was connecting with Steve. "No, I don't!"

"Bucky..." There it was, that name again, the one that spoke to a part of him that felt remote and alien, yet so alive whenever Steve Rogers was around. "

The Soldier was howling, desperately trying to drown the other voice, but it refused to go away. The chaos inside was louder than the chaos going on around them, and it was driving him mad. He screamed in rage, swung around and lashed out again.

"Your name...is...James Buchanan...Barnes..."

No, no, that wasn't right. He was a soldier and he had a mission, and that was it. "Shut up!" Why wouldnt't he just shut up? Why wouldn't the voices just shut up? The world was spinning, his mind was out of control, but the man in front of him was real and familiar.

"I'm not gonna fight you. You're my friend." And he meant it; his shield was gone and so was the fight from his eyes. Captain America was standing right in front of him, helpless, and the Soldier knew this was the best chance he would ever get to defeat him.

He lunged forward, and they fell hard to the floor; Steve hit with a bone-jarring impact, his head striking metal. "You're...my...mission!" He struck blow after blow upon Steve, rage consuming him, obliterating all other thoughts. "My mission!"

Steve was bleeding heavily now, but he made no motion to strike back. "Then finish it... 'cause I'm with you to the end of the line..."

His arm hovered mid air, ready to strike again, but the words had sparked a memory. Glimpses of a memory came rushing in, almost knocking the breath out of him.: a gloomy afternoon, sad faces, a hand to a shoulder... a friendship so strong that no measure of time could ever be able to erase.

The images kept coming in whirlwinds of colour and sound: two young boys running through the streets of New York... a young man standing up to a bully in a dark alley, small and frail but big in courage... two young men fighting side by side, like brothers... And then there was the fall. Everything was white as he fell and fell...

And then he was clinging to his life, but the world was not white; the glass had finally shattered. Somehow he had managed to hold on, but Steve hadn't been so lucky. Bucky watched him as he fell, his body seemingly taking forever to reach the water.

The voices were still inside his head, but they sounded muffled now; when he let go, he did so because he wanted to. He hit the water like a rock, barely missing the debris; he came back up, inhaled deeply and then went back down.

Steve was sinking fast; Bucky swam to him and hooked an arm around his waist. The weight almost pulled them down, but Bucky kicked hard against the water and they eventually resurfaced.

Steve began to stirr as Bucky dragged him ashore; he had taken a hard beating, but he would survive. Bucky's own body was ablaze with pain, but that was nothing compared to the agony he would inflict upon those who had dared to use him. They had turned him into a weapon, and now he would show them just how lethal he could be. That was his mission now. And then...

There were bits and pieces of the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes within him, but maybe with time he could learn to control them. Maybe one day they would be able to co-exist without driving him to madness. Until then, he was better left on his own.

 _Goodbye, Steve..._

But even as he turned his back on his only friend and walked away, he knew it wasn't really goodbye.

 **The End!**


End file.
